Monday I was asked to come into work a little early. I tried to talk myself out of being nervous because I’ve been working on my self doubt! I knew my boss was pleased with my most recent work so there was nothing to stress about. I prayed all the way to the office for courage to hear whatever it was that needed to be discussed. I think that’s what carried me through.
Days prior I had just told Tyler how grateful I was to be working at a job I loved so much. I almost felt guilty for taking a paycheck because I was enjoying it so much! Meanwhile he had been offered a job interview that would take us further away from home and had turned it down because I had just found what I thought was my dream job!
The conversation started out different than usual. There was minimal small talk in the beginning. Emotionally my boss stated that the company was facing tight circumstances and they could no longer keep me on the payroll. He assured me it had nothing to do with my work performance and that he was so pleased with the efforts I had put in to the company. I mistakenly let one tear trickle down my check which turned into a constant stream that I had to continually wipe away. I was just starting to like where I was and who I was becoming but something inside me told me to trust the process.
I gathered the things on my desk and said my goodbyes. I came home and prayed. “Dear Lord, what now?” Truthfully I wanted to binge watch on netflix and scroll through my social feed but something told me to take the time to be still. I sat in silence on the couch for the good part of an hour. Just staring into nothing. The same question filling my head, “What now?”
Today I saw a quote that said, “I don’t know where I’m going from here but I promise it won’t be boring” My heart has been full of so many emotions. Sad that a chapter has ended. Excited that new possibilities have opened up. Grateful for the opportunities and confused about the endings. Open to whatever life has to offer me next! I’m unclear of what is around the corner but I know it’s something that will help us grow and become better than before and I know it won’t be boring!
In the meantime, I am taking time to work on my blog and taking steps in the direction I’ve been wanting to go for a while. I’m excited to announce that this month we have a new look coming with some exciting new additions! I feel good about pouring my energy into this project and I am so grateful for those who have strengthened me and encouraged me along the way! We don’t always get to choose the path we walk down but we do get to dictate the way we experience our movement of growth. And that my friends, is why We Call it a Journey!
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