The Doctors Office | Fertility updates

I walk to the front desk, state my name and sign in. I find the stack of magazines and go straight for Better Homes & Gardens. 

Everytime the same thoughts run through my mind "How am I here? How are we really at this point?" I hate that it's getting easier to be at these appoinements. The butterflies in my stomach seem less apparent. It means I've been here too many times.


Today we had a follow up with our Fertility Specialist. It felt good to form a plan. She helped us understand where we were at statistically speaking. It always surprises me to hear that IUI's only offer a 20% chance of conception. She suggested 3-4 IUI's before moving on to something more aggressive. (Something like IVF - which offers about a 60% chance of conception)

We talked about the possibility of endometriosis. She suggested that might be the cause of our infertility. The problem with endometriosis is there's really not a noninvasive way to diagnose it. There's also no cure. That being said, there's no garuntee that treating endometriosis would really increase our chance of sucess.

Although parts of this journey do feel very personal, we feel that we want to share our journey with others. We have found that it is much harder to deal with this heavy load when trying to keep it "underwraps". We share in hope that we continue to build connection with others in the same boat. We also would like to use this space to inform anyone wanting to follow our story.

We have decided to take a break from any fertility treatment until we are able to address what's going on in my body. We will be having a consult with a GYN and we hope to discuss a few different issues we think are limiting our ability. From there we will decide if surgery is our next option.

I have to be honest it feels weird taking the focus off babies and putting it more on my body "healing". I have a few thoughts running through my mind I wanted to share.

• Today our Doctor told us something we hear all the time "You're young...You've got time on your side". This usually frustrates me but today she said "you have at least a decade before we need to worry about time" and somehow it relaxed me. I have 10 more years before we need to "hurry". This dose not need to be a race.

• When I got back from GUA I felt in my heart that we were so close to figuring this puzzle out. I didn't know how or what that meant exactly but I felt "close".
Later (and more recently) I felt in my heart that we are in this for a long hall. Something seemed to tell my heart "brace yourself. You've got a long road ahead and you're not done yet".
Both seemed to be messages of peace. And neither seemed to give specific answers.
I never knew how to feel about these (what I thought were conflicting) messages until now.
I have realized we have had so many resources fall into our laps. We are so close to getting answers for things we didn't know we had questions on. I think that initial feeling was just there to say, "you are on the right track". And now I can see that we are progressing even though it's not in the way I assumed.

We are excited and ready for what lies ahead. We are in this for the long hall. We will continue to update on our journey.