I was sitting on the phone listening to a self improvement seminar when it hit me. We were completing an exercise about where we see ourselves in 5 years but to start we had to write down where we were five years ago. I sat there on this call while these thoughts ran through my head.
"5 years ago? I was 20... I'll bet I'm the youngest one on this call. I barely had ANY life experience then. All I knew was school and one year of marriage.... clearly this exercise is not for me."
As others piped up to share what they had written down, I heard things like, "We had just had our last child." "I had just sold my business." or "My marriage had just ended." clearly these people were lightyears ahead of me and I had almost accepted that I was just "too young" to really understand the power of this exercise when it clicked. I have spent the majority of my adulthood using my "youth" as a barrier for so many things!
My mind spiraled into where I had gotten this idea and how much it had effected my progress in life! It started when I was in high school maybe? I had so much ambition and often felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. Whenever I would feel directionless, I would be reminded, "don't worry, you're young, you have plenty of time to figure it out." Then in college, I married my sweet boy at age 19. People constantly made comments about how I was "too young". So much that I started to feel embarrassed about my age. Whenever it would come up in casual conversation, I would add a few years and lie about it. As I served in my community and church, countless conversations were had that I was the "baby" of the group and people would tease me about being so young. After I graduated I categorized myself as "too young" to really go for any "big kid" jobs. I took jobs that I knew I could do and didn't even TRY to put myself in challenging roles. I wasn't "old enough" to be a manager or have real responsibilities (even though I had a lot of experience with leadership at that point.) It then carried into our journey of infertility. Doctors would constantly remind us how young we were and it often felt like no one was willing to take us seriously because we had "so much time" to figure things out.
I thought about a work meeting I had sat through recently and how I was looked at for an opinion and I literally thought to myself, "don't ask me, I'm not even old enough to have this conversation." How many times had I used my age as a barrier to why I couldn't do something? Each time someone made a comment on my youth, it enabled me to continue that thought pattern. I had been using those numbers to define my capabilities. Never mind that so many people my age or YOUNGER are making big things happen. Never mind that for "only" being TWENTY-FIVE I've experienced the kind of love and heartache and beauty that some might not experience in a lifetime!
1 Timothy 4:12 "Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity."
I have despised my youth as long as I can remember. I couldn't wait to be older because that meant I would have more abilities. But who set the age requirement for personal growth and development? Who said you had to wait to be older to take yourself seriously and follow your dreams? There are TEN year olds running businesses, there are NINETY year olds graduating college. Don't let age define you! If you have a dream or a goal- go out there and get it! There is no better time then now!
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