My husband and I have dealt with infertility longer than we’ve hoped. Over time we have watched friends open up about their infertility issues and have watched as they now become parents. It’s funny how instinctively my thoughts turned to “well that didn’t take long” or “wow 6 whole months of trying huh? Must be hard”.
On several accounts I can think of people, with good intentions, sharing personal stories of trying to conceive for X amount of time and BAM! Now they have more than one! I remember thinking “well whoopty doo, we’ve already passed (said time) and we still don’t have one… how dare you try to relate.” After realizing the toll this anger and annoyance was taking on my emotional state, I realized something. A trial is a trial. A hardship is still hard. If someone said to me that the pain I feel is invalid because they had been trying to conceive twice as long as me… well I’d probably deck them in the face. (And that’s just what someone should have done to me.)
Once I realized that others should be validated in their struggles, I felt that I could be more open about mine. I was so concerned that if I opened up about our issues, people would judge me like I judged them. The first step I made was joining an infertility support group. I have been overwhelmed by the strength I have gained from this group of women all dealing with infertility. If you are dealing with infertility, here ere are 5 reasons you should consider joining a support group if you haven’t already.
1. You will be Humbled by the numbers. The particular support group I joined has over 7k members. When I saw that number I instantly realized I’m definitely not alone in this. Infertility is said to affect 1 in 8 couples. There is power in numbers and knowing there are so many out there who share similar feelings can be so comforting.
2. You will be strengthened by encouragement. I remember when I first joined a group. I saw the several posts that had been commented on and all the support offered. I battled with myself... To post or not to post. I feared I would post and be the ONLY one who didn’t receive truck loads of comments cheering me on. I decided to bite the bullet. I introduced myself and my story. I was overwhelmed by the love complete strangers were offering. I immediately felt strengthened to continue with my head held high.
3. You will be uplifted by the stories. You will come to realize that even though you have it bad, someone always has it worse. You will read stories of other women and think “I could never go through that”. And the remarkable thing is… there are probably others thinking that of you. Women will share their experiences and you will be filled with love for complete strangers.
4. You will feel validated. In a proper support group, people are allowed to speak freely without feeling criticized. When you join a support group and participate you will feel validated in your thoughts and experiences. People will cheer you on and you will feel that all your hardships are recognized and understood by women who truly know.
5. You will find more compassion. After joining a support group I realized how many people are going through trials that I don’t even know about. Although it may not be strictly infertility, I started to realize that the people driving next to me on my way to work each have something they are battling. I started to realize that the workers at the grocery store are struggling in some area as well. I started realizing that people everywhere are dealing with their own crisis and I found that I have more patience and concern for those I don’t even know.
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